adventures of a couch potato

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

(Fix You, Coldplay, X & Y)

you have this amazing way of transforming first class to a plane crash. remember the 747 that disappeared somewhere in the virginia timberland when it dove nose first at around (i'm really guessing) a couple of hundred miles per hour. where do i go? would there be a happy place (real, imaginary, a little bit of both) to make it all alright? as i ponder and almost crying over my almost dead toe. i found myself at this purple-themed salon. a haven for homos in dyed hair, not to discount their forte in the beautifying business. my hair spent two of steaming, stretching, drying. ALAVET! makes me wanna go back for more. tomorrow, i hope to look in the mirror and hate my self less.

what the world needs now is one helluva'n eyecandy. something that could turn heads, could turn back the clock, could turn black into white, could turn heaven into hell and vice versa. it is so sad that kimiko means everything but can't be considered human. "it" could have all the biological --organic-- aspects. it could think, feel, speak, eat, sleep. to me, you are everything but human. you control how the day ought to begin or how it ough to end. how could an android have that power? i hope to find the answer soon enough,  before it falls, fade away, wither away or something else takes it place.

a second hand bookstore is a place of wonder. stacks of big paperbounds (with laminated covers) teem the area. i browsed through the titles hoping to find a good read. my last one was the fourth of a trilogy (odd, but it is the description from the back cover) "the restaurant at the end of the universe" -- my most expensive book buy so far, and oddly (again!), the thinnest paperback with adequate word to page ratio. i would say the thinnest would be my kurt vonnegut jr yet with font 8 and centimeters in margin, it took me a month to read it all. going back to my weekend highlight -- orange, more or less book 60, very much crisp with the exception of its back cover. somebody might have spilled perrier over it. that aside, it was a good read. i am always in awe of gambling. how the high and wealthy throw away money at the throw of the dice or at the shuffle of cards. nice to know that asians have a strong presence in the poker scene, especially filipinos. i was wondering why there was no mention of the triad or peeps from macau. anyway, it gave a hearfelt lesson about quitting when you're ahead. this is the best example of burning out than fading away. at the end, it is always how the hand was played. how you bluffed and how it was called, or not. it is about choices. i just hope there are people who would earnestly watch my back out of love or respect. i wish to think that achie or deej are like that. but in the emerging concrete jungle south of manila, it is so damn hard to tell. gotta watch my own back.       

the sun the sand and the waves. my muse, apparently upset or rather disappointed about my habits, whipped and slapped this body unto the crashing waves, onto the thousand year old rocks. bruised and cut. eyes blood red from saltwater. i finally made it to shore. with aching arms and all-too scratched foot. in the morning, i flopped onto the sea like i flopped onto my bed. it tells me everything will be just fine, the morning after.