adventures of a couch potato

restlessness and anxiety are strange bedfellows. question is, why do i let myself be dragged into this kind of trouble. people having this idea that i can do something out of the ordinary is unfathomable. i can't even pronounce the latter correctly. i am so afraid of not delivering according to standard -- their standard. maybe i'll just sit there and talk my way out. not exactly my best capability at this time. whatever happened to simplifying things? i really want to know.  

i sure do like spectator sports. i love sitting at the sidelines. waiting. watching. creating scenarios. imagining motives. maybe i am a stalker by heart. i could be in my secret vault armed with my own google earth. i just love watching you. the way you work the green screens. they way you scratch the back of your head as if turning on an idea. the way your eyeballs roll  (as if it can be seen) when i pass by. swaying your hair into place. the way you close shop. log off. turn the whole thing off. collecting your papers. drinking your water to the last drop. you head straight to the door, using the most efficient path possible. hai suai chuna.

seven days. each day had killed me in so many ways. overstressed. overworked. under the weather. most likely, over the moon. i circle the floor as i would circumnavigate the globe. a fruitless expedition. a sorry excuse. true to a sliver -- a stalking tool, i am watching you.