adventures of a couch potato

a lot of peeps from work are going to xin jia po. the nation-state is just too tempting that it got me thinking. the bandwagon is making me sick and tired of this citylife. i could start anew and leave everything behind. i could eat hainanese chicken everyday. that's a bargain

================================================================================

currently addicted to chen yi ru and everything about chen yi ru. if only androids and humanoids are bought and sold. i would also take out a 70-year loan. hwahahahahahaha. wo ai ni te xiao. xie xie ni. ta huey keeps wo te xin hua together. keeps me insane as everything else comes crashing down. you know how it is around the floor. could be worse than the trading floor.

one thing, ECON rules.

the way THE BOSS briefly explained the seven year economic cycle set me adrift. hehehe. yeah i knew that from dev econ too. 

just as you thought i'm doing it all wrong, i drove from the house to rcbc. woohoo!

six months later. a year older. past two breakdowns. an almost once over. i could have missed writing. i have a long list of excuses not to write. at the most not to blog. here i sit. teary eyed from the strain and a couple of pounds heavier. writing (and yes simultaneously editing and a bit of censoring). and yes, still the anal retentive. i have a list (like i always do) in my head of stuff that i want to do because i feel so unhappy, unfulfilled, unsatisfied. i am not unhappy, unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

when everything is at cruise control. sit back. relax. enjoy the view. the jeers and cheers of the rest of the world rat racing towards final destination. i want to witness them crash and burn, glitter and shine, and all the good stuff in between. Listen to their laurels and heartbreaks, maybe for the next twenty or thirty years.

-- takuya kimura

art imitates life and vice versa. one can never tell which came in first like the endless chicken and egg debate. for such a nice catholic girl like me (this description still befits, after all we are all sinners), i still hear real life stories for the first time. this girl -- tall, very beautiful, strong willed but with corrupted innocence -- have told me urban legends coming to life. college girl tragedies. so, the pamparegla is just placebo. the old lady smoking the nganga would take one look at the girl and would know. she would give instructions as precise as a surgeon. pity the girl and pity the unborn. city life is a fight for survival. it only reminds me how fear, conviction and ambition can be so strong it can commit murder.  

click my heels three times and we are back in kansas. my red hello kitty flats does that trick. so we could be stuck here in the deep south, after all. there's a massive corporate war out there in the scorching suburb of new york and the debris rains in manila. this is how the big boys play ball. bottom management have to sit and watch the freakin' ball game on the sidelines. i'm grabbing my corndog, popcorn and ice cold coke. listen to the yapping old timers. laugh it all off. wait until we get a flyball or a home run. the smoke will clear in time.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

(Fix You, Coldplay, X & Y)

you have this amazing way of transforming first class to a plane crash. remember the 747 that disappeared somewhere in the virginia timberland when it dove nose first at around (i'm really guessing) a couple of hundred miles per hour. where do i go? would there be a happy place (real, imaginary, a little bit of both) to make it all alright? as i ponder and almost crying over my almost dead toe. i found myself at this purple-themed salon. a haven for homos in dyed hair, not to discount their forte in the beautifying business. my hair spent two of steaming, stretching, drying. ALAVET! makes me wanna go back for more. tomorrow, i hope to look in the mirror and hate my self less.

PeePeeQ would be moving to the far north. I think I would miss him. There are only a handful of people whom I borrowed books from. It also means he has some sort of sophistication most men lack. I went to Number One's workstation that day, can't help but be curious about the slim paperback lying around his desk. The neon green title font caught me. It's the freaking FREAKONOMICS book. Yep, the same one I drooled over at 'A Different Bookstore" where it sells 1200 bucks. Hardbound edition. I told the book to take a hike after checking out the tag. A quick rundown of trade-offs in the manner John Nash's school of thought. I need clothes more. Anyway, I snatched his book and promised to return it the day after. Nine PM, eastern time.  I have the assurance that the book is not worth buying. I was just amused at the "economic" explanation of why people in the drug business have to live at their parent's house. Then, it went on a lenthy discussion of names used for black and white babaies and how it ultimately affected job application and their oh-so precious credit score. Xiexie for fixing my sametime. So we'll be chatting instead. You maybe so like Xammi. The "huy kuwento ka naman" guy.   

turning tables is not such a bad idea. it was my birthday. number one forgot, naturally. as well as mister p. CQ did not. what mattered that day was giving number one a most auspicious gift i.e. churning captain hook in the croc's belly. ahiyatimi proved to be super hero yesterday and today. he acted in one fell swoop and decapitated captain hook. a kick in the butt he most deserved for making number one hurt.

highlight of the day was to get utterly frustrated at ai ching hao de's ending (or so i thought that how it all ended). tien yi shia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mei yow ah. wo huei lai le.

welcome to a new era. it's good to see the closet is spotless. skeletons were buried. cobwebs were swept. time to breathe in a new habit of the old kind. living it up with eyes closed. i do believe that there is a parallel universe. this one i can create at whim with no regard for time nor genre. this is maturity in motion. a proof that the mind is a wonderful thing to have.